Disclaimer: not an expert whatsoever on the subject matter but I’ve seen + observed enough, experienced enough and heard enough to just think/say the following: Lust: - You want immediate gratification - you want to feel satisfied now - You might put someone on a pedestal and not really see the person for who he/she is 100% - good or bad (see past their foolishness and weaknesses) - If you find yourself having to ask yourself if you’re in love - you probably are not - Focused on physical appearance - Strong desire to have sex but not deep emotional conversations - Constantly aim to please - you say what they want to hear (going with a safe answer) than fully expressing how you really feel - You don’t really KNOW the person - maybe their favorite color of favorite food but that’s surface-level stuff…you haven’t or don’t try to dig deeper. Love - you know small insignificant details. - Not comfortable talking about problems and details - show less vulnerability because it might be seen as a sign of weakness… - Silence is awkward or discomfort - Mind games - more strategic // manipulations (love is more trust/sincerity rather than desire) - Less likely to hang in there when things get rocky or challenging - love is more consistent/stable during stressful times - Lovers but not friends
Love: - When you only desire that one person - You see the reality of the person - for who they are 100% vs lust (loving the IDEA of them) - You want to spend quality time with that person for other than sex - You want to meet his/her family and friends or people he/she always talks about - You get lost in conversations and hours pass - You point out their mistakes because you love them and you want them to become a better person - and if they love you, they will accept the (hopefully constructive) criticism and try to be a better person, not just for you, but for themselves, too - Choosing “we” over “me” - You’re the best version of you when you’re in true love - you take time to learn about each other, appreciate + accept one another for each other’s differences + quirks and resolve differences in a respectful, mature manner - When you’re able to be your true self in the relationship - Can and want to talk to them about basically everything - trusting them with the most minor (and major) issues you’re having, no matter how weird/trivial/embarrassing they seem - More eye gazing/contact than people in lust - There is a relationship, but there is also friendship
